Kylie's Story (as told by her husband)

Dear Family and Friends, 3-5-2005

For the past few nights, Kylie requested that I sleep in the guest bedroom. Not because she was tired of my silly puns or my neglecting to carry the trash down the hill. She, and her harem of pillows, simply needed all the room our cozy queen size bed can provide. This morning at 5:00 AM I woke up to use the bath room. On my way back to bed Kylie opened our bedroom door. She was showered, dressed, the bed was made, and her bags were packed. She asked serenely “Are you ready to have a baby today?” “You’re having contractions?” “Yes, since 3:30 this morning, and this time they’re for real!”

Always giving to the outmost extent, she insisted that I lie down for “a few more minutes”. I cautiously agreed. Two minutes later she opened the door and informed me there was no time for me to lie down the contractions were only 5 minutes apart. While I put the last few things in the Cruiser, Kylie actually found time, in between contractions, to make me a hot bowl of oatmeal and a fresh cup of tea. ALWAYS giving to the outmost extent!

A couple months ago, Kylie and I made a birth plan. She did some research and decided that she really wanted to try a natural child birth. If things grew really painful, or complications arose drugs were a fine option. Her preference though would be to know exactly how every movement feels as it happens. To aid in our efforts of completing this somewhat rare feet we decided to hire a birth Doula. Lara the Doula, is a former RN who decided to forgo traditional nursing in favor of spending her time aiding women with childbirth. She arrives at the hospital with expecting parents and spends every minute of their labor tending to and aiding mom. She suggests coping positions, gives massages, and generally offers advice to mothers based her own real life experiences with birth. We decided her guidance would be much more useful than tidbits of regurgitated advice from her bumbling husband (just relax honey, everything is just fine…). Lara was not there to actually to deliver the baby, but to ensure that Kylie’s birth experience was as comfortable as possible.

At 6:00 A.M. Kylie paged our OB’s office. As though a sign of the good things to come, Kylie’s favorite of the 8 Dr’s at the office returned her page. Following Dr Graf’s advice, we worked through Kylie’s contractions at home until 7:30. We arrived at Rex Birth Center in Raleigh at 8:00, checked in and were settled with Lara in the delivery room by 8:15. During the last hour of work at home, and during the ride to the Hospital her contractions were 3-4 minutes apart. The disturbance of checking in, getting poked for an IV, giving blood samples, and changing into hospital garb slowed her contractions considerably. But by 10:00 she was back to regular contractions every 3-4 minutes. At around noon she measured 4 inches dilation. At 1:30 she measured 7 inches. I chose this milestone to run outside to call our parents and alert them, the time was nearing.

During these first 10 hours of work, Ky’s contractions grew slowly stronger and stronger. She would later state “I thought the pain was really intense when we left for the hospital… that was nothing!” Our concentration was focused on keeping Kylie’s entire body relaxed in an effort to allow all her energy to be directed to her uterus. Kylie was amazing, she knew this day was coming and she was well practiced. During contractions she calming concentrated on keeping her breathing regular and her body’s muscles relaxed. Lara and I worked to give her knew “labor coping” positions. We worked through, lying down, squatting, sitting on a birthing ball, sitting down in a hot shower, and many others. All the while the contractions and her convictions grew steadily stronger.

After the 7 inch mark, the contractions must have really changed. As the pain intensified, each contraction sapped more and more from Kylie. Breathing normally through the pain was no longer an exercise of calmly anticipating the next break. We had her hospital bed in the “full and upright” position and she was kneeling, facing the wall, with her arms draped over the top of the bed. Her controlled breathing turned into deep, guttural moans as she gave everything she had to keeping her body relaxed in the face of these intense waves of pain. The labor pains gradually grew too strong for any relaxation technique. She was sweating, and groaning, and forcing her way through each attack. On multiple occasions she spoke of needing medication. We never denied her requests. Lara calmly spoke into Kylie’s ear and reassured her “Kylie you are doing so well, you’re acting like you are a medicated woman in labor, let’s just take each contraction one at a time, you’re getting closer to meeting your baby with each one!” With that, Kylie would close her eyes, breath deeply, and wait for the next onslaught.

At 2:50 P.M. she was finally fully dialated! Time to start pushing! The Dr. asked us to flatten the bed a bit so Kylie could turn over and begin the final stage of her labor. Lara held her right leg and I her left as the Dr and birthing nurse, Beth, monitored the baby’s vitals and it’s progress down the birth canal. With Kylie’s first push I saw a dime size piece of out baby’s head. The end seemed so near……She pushed every few minutes for over an hour and a half, but made little progress. The only thought in her head was to push through the pain and get that baby out. But all the straining, and burning, and screaming seemed almost pointless as we watched the baby’s head slip back into the canal at the end of every contraction. Beth positioned a mirror so Kylie could spot the top of her baby’s head. From this Ky learned there were two ways to push, one more effective than the other. But still we watched the head slip back down the birth canal with the end of every pushing contraction. Eventually Lara suggested we try the birthing bar, a device neither Dr. Graf of Beth had ever used. The bar fits across the bed and enables a laboring mother to squat over the bed and push while relieving the pressure of her body weight on her back.

During this trying process Kylie’s body allowed her brief breaks to recover and get ready for the next push. Kylie managed to pull her self away from the pressure and pain of the process, and in between contractions she smiled and joked with us. She even giggled when I told the Dr. how relieved I was for Kylie when I spotted the baby’s full head of dark hair. When she asked, “Why is that?” I responded “Because our UPS man is a cute blondy!”

We positioned Kylie on the birthing bar, and with her next contraction the baby’s head crowned for the first time. After this tough pushing contraction she stayed squatting, her legs trembling with exhaustion. Lara suggested she sit back to avoid leg cramps. Kylie looked up worried, “But I don’t want to break the baby’s neck!” Lara and Beth assured her this was a frightening though impossible action. With two more squatting pushed the baby’s head crowned and turned the corner, it was ready to come out. We turned her onto her back and she prepared for what would be the most painful and thrilling few moments of her life. With the second push the baby’s head cleared the opening. I could see the back of its head and one cute little ear. The Dr. suctioned his mouth and told Kylie, “one last good pushing contraction we’re there!” With that another contraction built its power and Kylie pushed through it with the determination only a mother possesses. The baby’s shoulders cleared and the body quickly followed. The Dr caught the baby, and I screamed through tears of joy and awe “IT’S A BOY, IT’S A BOY, YOU DID IT HONEY, I’M SO PROUD OF YOU! YOU DID IT! WE HAVE A BEAUTIFUL BABY BOY!”

I know I’m a lucky man to have married Kylie. She is an amazing woman in so many ways. She’s smart, thoughtful, beautiful and funny. She has proven to be a terrific business woman, and a caring and nurturing wife. She’s a wonderful chef, and a converted Tar Heel fan. What more could I possibly desire? In setting her goal and delivering our baby in the manner she determined to be best for the health of herself and our baby. Even though there were options to make this a far less agonizing delivery. She demonstrated to me a level of courage, determination and love that only a wonderful mother could possess.

William Clinton Harris V, 7 lbs 11 oz, 21 inches, born at 4:55 P.M. on March, 5th 2005
We will call him William.

Please send your birth story to Lara@ABetterChildbirth.com.  I look forward to hearing from you!

Copyright 2002 A Better Childbirth, Inc.